Whether you’ve already broached the conversation or know you need to sooner than later, discussing the possibility of a family member entering an assisted living facility can be emotional and complex. This is especially true when the decision involves multiple people, each with their own perspectives and concerns. 

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We’ve witnessed these interactions and understand how fraught it can feel when you’re trying to figure out what makes sense for your loved one. In our experience, you can make the process smoother if you approach the topic with empathy, preparation, and a trained focus on the well-being of your loved one, above all. 

As professional caregivers, we’re committed to empowering family members with the tools and strategies needed to navigate difficult conversations like finding the right assisted living solution for your loved one. We have found the following steps to be particularly helpful… 

#1: Start with Open Communication

Initiating the conversation about assisted living can feel daunting, but transparency is key. Begin by expressing your concerns with your loved one in a compassionate and non-confrontational way. 

For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed some changes lately, and I want to make sure we’re doing everything we can to keep you safe and happy.” Avoid using language that could make your loved one feel judged, pressured or in any way ashamed of a diminished capability.

If possible, involve your relative in the conversation early. Allow them to share their feelings, fears, and preferences. This not only shows respect for their autonomy but also helps you understand their perspective, making it easier to identify solutions that align with their needs and values.

A good rule of thumb is to put yourself in their shoes. What would you want your family to know about your hopes and plans for your own future? 

Don’t miss the 5 Signs it’s Time to Consider Moving to Assisted Living

#2: Gather Information and Share it Thoughtfully

We’re big believers in the power of information and preparedness. Before discussing assisted living, research options that might suit your loved one’s needs. Look into facilities that provide the level of care they require, whether it’s help with daily activities, medical support, or memory care. Compile information on amenities, staff credentials, costs, and proximity to family members.

When presenting these options, emphasize the benefits rather than focusing on what your loved one might lose. Highlight the opportunities for social engagement, access to healthcare, and a safer living environment.

Focusing on the perks can make an inevitable decision feel more like an exciting adventure. 

#3: Involve Key Family Members

No doubt you already know that family dynamics can add complexity to any decision-making process and that’s certainly true for ones as sensitive as this. To minimize conflict, involve close relatives early on and keep the lines of communication open. Share your research and encourage others to express their thoughts and concerns.

It’s crucial to remain focused on what’s best for your loved one rather than personal opinions or disagreements. If tensions run high, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or geriatric care manager, to facilitate discussions and mediate conflicts.

#4: Tour Facilities Together

You wouldn’t move into a new apartment, condo or house sight unseen, which is why we are proponents of visiting various assisted living locations before making any decisions. Whenever possible, visit potential assisted living facilities with your loved one and other family members. Touring these communities provides an opportunity to ask questions, meet staff, and observe daily life. It also allows your loved one to experience the environment firsthand, which can alleviate some of their fears or misconceptions.

Remember, fear of the unknown is a real consideration and you can remove a great deal of that by taking the time to physically explore an assisted living environment with your relative. 

#5: Make a Collaborative Decision

We strongly caution against any decisions made in isolation. For everyone’s best interest, the decision to move into assisted living should be collaborative whenever possible. While safety and care needs are paramount, honoring your loved one’s preferences helps maintain their sense of dignity and control. If they’re resistant, take the time to address their concerns and revisit the conversation when they’re ready.

Forcing your loved one into a living situation that does not suit them will only lead to more friction in the long run. 

Assisted Living at As Life Goes On

While nothing can replace an in-person visit to one of our five locations in and around southern New Hampshire, we can offer a quick snapshot of what assisted living looks like at our facilities.

Picture this: Distinctive small homes nestled in welcoming residential neighborhoods. These boutique-style residences provide a charming, intimate experience akin to a cozy bed-and-breakfast, accommodating fewer than sixteen residents at a time. With fewer residents, we ensure personalized care and attention. Each home boasts historic charm and traditional architectural details that evoke timeless beauty and sophistication.

Our Mission: Supporting daily living with dignity and independence. We empower our residents to maintain as much autonomy as possible by encouraging their active participation in personal routines and activities. Viewing each resident as a cherished member of our extended family, we embrace a holistic approach grounded in compassion and love.

Our Team and Homes:

• Offer cozy private or shared companion rooms tailored for comfort.
• Follow a holistic care approach to meet each resident’s unique needs 
• Prepare and serve nutritious, home-cooked meals.
• Provide support with daily activities and coordinate engaging weekly entertainment.
• Monitor and assist with self-directed medication management.
• Handle all housekeeping and laundry services to ensure a clean, welcoming environment.
• Arrange transportation for appointments or outings as needed.
• Host themed events to bring joy and enrichment to residents’ lives.
• Maintain 24-hour on-site staff presence for safety and peace of mind.

Request a tour today!