While it would be nice to think that the holidays are a festive time embraced by everyone, the fact is they can inspire a mixed bag of conflicting emotions. We find this especially true for caregivers. The typical whirlwind of celebrations and family gatherings, comes with added responsibilities and stress for caregivers. It’s not surprising then that finding joy can feel out of reach for them, but it doesn’t have to. Perhaps more than anyone, caregivers deserve and need to feel uplifted during the holiday season.
We’ve got a few tips that will, hopefully, help. It’s our little gift to the people we so respect and admire. As professional caregivers ourselves, we know your pain and struggle; we also recognize your commitment and devotion. Our goal is to support you where those two realities intersect so that you can embrace the holidays and celebrate the season, stress-free.
Below, we’ve taken our big goal and broken it down into smaller ones that we hope you’ll try to achieve. Trying alone might be enough to make a difference.
Goal 1: Set Realistic Expectations
Make this your mantra: The holidays don’t have to be “perfect.” Remember that your presence and effort mean more than having everything look or feel ideal. Choose a few meaningful traditions to prioritize and let go of others. Simplifying your commitments can reduce stress and create space to enjoy the season.
Prioritize Self-Care
We know. You’ve heard it a million times and, if you’ve not been able to manage it, we understand that the phrase itself rings hollow. Tired or not, the fact is self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s essential. Try setting aside a few minutes daily for something you enjoy, whether it’s reading, listening to music, or meditating. Practicing deep breathing, going for a quick walk, or even watching a favorite show can refresh your mind. If you have the opportunity to do so, we highly recommend enlisting a friend or family member to step in for short breaks, allowing you some time to recharge.
On that note…
Build a Support Network
We often say, “It takes a village,” when talking about raising children. In our experience, the same is true of caregiving. The trouble is, caregiving can sometimes feel relegated to the shadows; whereas, child-rearing is busy, loud, and often far more joyous than taking care of our elders. For this reason, caregiving can feel isolating and the village seems hard to find.
Right or wrong, you have to invite people into a village of your own creation. Reach out to trusted family, friends, or fellow caregivers. Share your experiences, challenges, and even (maybe especially!) small victories with others who understand. If your family can pitch in, divide tasks to lighten your load. Support groups, both online and in person, offer a valuable space to connect and vent.
Remember, your village can be a professional elder care organization, like ours.
“This place is an answered prayer for our family. My dad is very happy, safe and loved. Every staff member I have met greets me with a smile every time. It’s clean, beautiful and well maintained. His room is huge, and has enough room for a living room where we all can visit. The view is awesome. My dad enjoys sitting on the front farmers porch and walks. Loves the food, a little too much. End of the Day is happy and loves his new home.” — Verified reviewer
Set Boundaries and Practice Saying “No”
We see caregivers struggle with this goal more than others. You’re a kind hearted, giving person. Refusing requests for help or invitations of any kind is likely not your strong suit; however, setting boundaries can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed. We urge you to politely decline events that add stress or don’t fit your schedule. Others may not fully understand your caregiving responsibilities, so communicate your needs and limitations clearly. If they still don’t understand or fail to give you the grace following a declined invitation or favor, they are not your village.
Simplify Holiday Shopping and Meal Prep
Sure, a no-brainer here. Do less. But how? Between caregiving and holiday to-do lists, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. Consider these options: shop online, invest in gift cards, or support local businesses with easy-to-order options. When it comes to holiday meals, delegate tasks or organize a potluck-style gathering. Pre-prepared dishes or shortcuts can save you time without sacrificing holiday spirit. This is not the time to emulate Martha Stewart or chastise yourself for opening a can of cranberry sauce versus making your own. You’re a caregiver: the time for making things from scratch will come again, if that’s your jam (pun intended), but this is not it.
Find Joy by Focusing on it.
There’s no doubt that it’s easy to get caught up in what’s missing or the stress that caregiving can bring, but try to look for small, meaningful moments. Sharing a cup of tea with your loved one, watching a holiday movie, or decorating together can bring moments of joy and connection. These little moments can make the season feel special, but we know you might have to work a little harder to find them. We can tell you though that just the act of looking often reveals treasures you never imagined finding.
Guilt: Not on the Guest List
There is zero space for guilt this season. Caregiving is a demanding role. At the risk of relying on another cliche, please keep in mind that it’s impossible to pour from an empty cup. Caring for yourself makes it possible for you to care for others. Skipping that first step undermines your well-being and actually deprives your loved one of the caregiving experience they need.
The holiday season certainly adds a layer of complexity to caregiving. Don’t let it overwhelm you. Set boundaries, simplify tasks, and start inviting people into your village. We know you can find joy this season by creating it yourself. Even so, our team is standing by to support you — whether that means availing yourself of our Caregiver Relief Program or visiting one of our five locations in NH — we invite you to contact us today!
